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About Myself
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An’ the smell, Christ! Stale fags, cheap perfume, an’ desperation – hits ya like a brick. Reminds me o’ that scene, “Sufferin’ in silence, eh?” But some o’ these birds, they’re crafty – slip ya a wink, an’ yer wallet’s gone! Mate o’ mine, lost his fuckin’ trousers once – proper stitched up, ha! “Shoulda picked the left door, ya nonce!”
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Next, I decide to hit up the Helmond Castle. You know, the one that looks like it’s straight outta a fairy tale? I’m thinking, “This’ll be a nice, peaceful spot.” But nah, it’s packed with tourists. Like, where did they all come from? I can’t even get a good pic without some random family photobombing me. I’m trying to channel my inner knight, and all I get is a kid in a Mickey Mouse shirt ruining my vibe. Ugh!
These Oddball Ladies Came Along For Me To Do: Katherine Helmond, 1929-2019
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