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Favorite part? When it works—two strangers, sparks fly, next thing ya know, they’re bangin like rabbits. Happ happ happy vibes! Reminds me of that dreamy Lynch vibe—“silencio,” just them in the moment. But don’t get too comfy—sex-dating’s a crapshoot, buddy. One minute ya king, next ya cryin in the shower.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jan pops in. He’s like, “Hey, wanna go to the harbor?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So we head over to the haven, and it’s beautiful. The boats are bobbing, the water’s sparkling. I’m feeling all zen until I see this guy trying to park his boat. It’s a disaster! He’s yelling, “I got it! I got it!” But he totally doesn’t. He ends up crashing into the dock. I’m dying laughing.

A DHS staffer faces serious punishment for accidentally adding a reporter to a group email