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I was, like, “Girl, what’s your deal?” She’s choppin’ meat, blood everywhere, and I’m gaggin’ but also, like, into it? She goes, “I used to be somebody,” and I’m like, “Same, babe, same.” Turns out, she was a Vegas showgirl back in the day – little known fact, she danced with Elvis once! Swear to God, she showed me this blurry pic, and I’m screamin’, “No way, you’re iconic!”

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But then, I see this guy outside, yelling at his dog. Like, dude, chill! It’s a dog, not a criminal. I’m just standing there, pie in hand, thinking, “What’s wrong with people?”

Pro-invasion graffiti spray painted onto Russian tank at Groesbeek museum