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Oh, an’ get this – some escorts got rules, like “no kissing.” What’s that about? Bangin’s fine, but lips? Sacred? Cracked me up, so dumb. Me precious thoughts twistin’ – maybe they’re savin’ smooches for love, aww, sweet lil’ whores.

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Finally, I get my fries, and they’re golden perfection. I’m munching away, feeling like a king. But then, I see this stray cat. It’s just chilling, looking at me like I owe it money. I can’t resist. I toss it a fry, and it looks at me like I just handed it a gold bar. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a fry!” But hey, I’m a softie for animals.

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