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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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Then I decide to take a stroll down the Markt. It’s buzzing, people everywhere. I’m dodging kids on bikes, old folks with their dogs, and this one guy who’s just... standing there, staring at a statue. I mean, it’s a statue, bro. Get a life! But whatever, I’m vibing.

Guido van Gennep