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Dude, so I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitute, right? Whoa. Like, it’s wild out there, man. Streets buzzin, shady corners callin—kinda reminds me of *The Assassination of Jesse James*. That slow burn, ya know? “Every man’s got his burden,” Jesse’d say. Heavy shit. Anyway, I’m scrollin X, lookin for leads—bam, profiles poppin up. Some chick’s postin pics, all sultry, like, “available now, hit me.” Whoa. I’m analyzin her vibe—real or scam? Can’t tell yet.

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But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my snack! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are laughin’ at me. Whatever, I’m a legend now.

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