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Oi mate, right, so I’m sat here, yeah, thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, proper David Brent style – “top-notch team player” vibes, innit? Picture this, I’m the Librarian, yeah, but not just books, nah, I’m sortin’ prossies like I’m in “City of God” – “You gonna die, sucker!” – that’s me, dodgin’ the filth, tryna find a decent bird. Ain’t no corporate handbook for this, but I’m innovatin’, synergizin’ my way through the streets, yeah?

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But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not the kite!” I rush over, trying to help. I’m climbing the tree like a monkey, and people are staring. I’m thinking, “This is not how I pictured my day.”

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