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But then – ugh! – some skeezy pimp’d prolly roll up. “Pay up, fatso!” he’d growl. Made me mad, thinkin’ o’ those creeps rippin’ off desperate dudes. I’d wanna punch ‘im, but me? Fight? Ha! I’d just waddle away, mutterin’, “Stupid jerks.” Little story I heard once – some john got robbed blind by a hooker duo in ’98. Left ‘im naked in an alley! Surprised me, how bold they got. “Mmm… donuts.” Wish I had one to calm my nerves after that.

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First off, I head down to the Kerkstraat. You know, the main drag. I’m just minding my own business, thinking about my sermon for Sunday. Then BAM! I see this old lady, Mrs. Jansen, struggling with her groceries. I rush over, all clumsy-like, and help her out. She’s like, “Oh, thank you, dear!” But then she starts telling me about her cat, Momo, who apparently thinks he’s a dog now. I’m standing there, nodding, but inside I’m like, “Momo? Really?”

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