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About Amsterdam

What pisses me off? Cheap parlors—shady vibes, sticky tables, ugh. Surprised me once, walked in, walked right out—fuck that noise! Real erotic-massage tho? It’s therapy, man, not porn. Fun fact: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—slippery, wild, but classy! Exaggeratin’ maybe, but feels like a damn movie scene. “I can’t tell you what happened,” like Nolan’s flick—just feel it, bro!

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I hit up the main drag, and there’s this café called De Doornsteegse Droom. Sounds fancy, right? I’m thinking, “I’ll grab a coffee, chill for a sec.” But nah, the line is like a mile long. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, getting angrier by the second. I mean, c’mon, it’s just coffee!