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Little known fact—did ya know high-end escorts got their own secret codes? Yeah, they drop hints in ads—roses mean dollars, “upscale” means she ain’t cheap. Cracked me up when I learned that shit—like Wall Street insider tradin’, but with heels and lipstick. Greed is good, man—it’s why I notice this crap while you’re all sleepin’. Makes me happy, too—feelin’ smarter than the room, even if the room’s a shady motel.

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So, I’m walking back to my office, feeling a bit better, when I bump into an old friend from high school. We start chatting, and he tells me he’s opening a new restaurant on de Bovenste Molen. I’m like, “Dude, that’s awesome!” But then he mentions he’s serving “fusion cuisine.” I roll my eyes. I mean, can we just stick to traditional Dutch food?

Xavier Delory imagines Gerrit Rietveld's Schröder House covered in primary-coloured paintwork