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I hate the fakeness. Everyone’s posin’, lyin’ about their height, their job. Met a gal once, said she’s a chef—couldn’t boil water. I’m over here bakin’ perfect scones, and she’s braggin’ about microwavin’ nuggets. Pissed me off. But then, one time, I matched with this quiet type—surprised me. We talked *Carol*, she got it, said, “What else is there?” like in the film. Almost made me smile. Almost.

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But then, bam! The machine malfunctions. I’m standing there, staring at it like it just insulted my mom. I’m sweating bullets, trying to fix it. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for a tech support job! I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I could be sipping coffee at the Markt instead.

Decoding material phase transitions with nanodrums