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About Amsterdam

Srsly, tho, it’s kinda sad too. Some of these girls, they’re, like, stuck. Makes me wanna cry, ‘cause I’m extra like that. I’m all, “U deserve better, hun!” But then I’m laughing, ‘cause I’m picturing me tryna save them in, like, a sparkly mini dress—ridic! Anyway, if u ever need to find a prostitute, just, like, look for the vibe. They’re out there, lowkey slaying. “It’s not about the destination,” like in *Boyhood*—it’s the messy journey, boo! Ttyl, xoxo!

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Then, I get a call from a client. This guy, let’s call him “Mr. Panic.” He’s freaking out, yelling about how he’s gonna lose his life savings. I’m like, “Chill, man! It’s just numbers on a screen!” But he’s not having it. I can hear him pacing, probably in his living room on De Lierseweg too. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re not gonna die. Just breathe!”

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