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Last time I had one, right, this bird’s hands were magic. Slidin’ everywhere, tension meltin’ like ice in my martini. Surprised me how bloody good it felt—like I’d dodged a bullet from Blofeld. “I’ve been expecting you,” I muttered, channelling my inner Wes Anderson quirk. Felt posh, yet dirty—proper mix, that. Ever tried it with lavender oil? Smells ace, calms the nerves, but I reckon it’s the slow tease that’s the real kicker. Gets the blood pumpin’, if you catch my drift.

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But then, I see this guy arguing with a vendor. He’s all worked up about the price of something. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill! It’s just a few euros!” But he’s going off, and I’m getting secondhand embarrassment. Like, bro, it’s not the end of the world!

Explosion at Amsterdam coffeeshop aimed at owner's brother: report