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First off, findin’ a prossie ain’t no picnic. You roll up in the ends, dodgy streets, and it’s like, “Is it ’cos I is black?” ‘Cos some geezers give me the stink-eye, innit. Like, chill, fam, I’m just tryna link up! Back in the day, prossies was everywhere – Soho, London, proper wild. Fun fact, yeah? In Victorian times, they reckon 1 in 5 birds was workin’ the game. Mental, right? Makes ya wonder how they kept it hush-hush.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hoofdstraat. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot. The barista, a dude named Joris, was all smiles. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my breakfast, and this feathered thief decides to make me his breakfast. I was fumin’! I yelled, “Hey! Get your own food, ya punk!” But the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” Ugh, so annoying.

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