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Love me that movie, tho. “I’m adopted, did you know that?” – classic! Imagine escortin’ Margot Tenenbaum, eh? She’d be all moody, smokin’, ignorin’ ya. I’d be like, “Precious, pay me already!” Got mad once, heard some escort overcharged. Dude paid 500 bucks for chit-chat! Rip-off, man, total scam. We swears! Them escorts can trick ya good. One time, read this wild story – escort ditched a guy mid-date. Left him in a diner, poor sod. “He’s not even worth a ransom!” – that’s what I’d say.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Jan. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “I can’t deal with this right now!” But I can’t help it. I pick up. Turns out, he just won a local fishing contest on de Woudweg. I’m like, “That’s awesome, man! But I’m in crisis mode here!”

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