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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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But then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he just wanted to praise the team for their hard work. I’m like, “Seriously? After all that?” I’m relieved but also kinda annoyed.

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