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Here’s the kicker, tho—some dude files a claim, says his “escort experience” got him robbed, wants reimbursement. I’m like, “Are you kiddin’ me?!” What’s next, claimin’ your hooker stole your heart?! Pretty, pretty good scam if it works, but I’m not buyin’ it. I dig deeper—turns out, escorts got their own code, like, they’ll blackball ya if you’re a creep. Little known story: this one guy, big shot lawyer, got banned from every escort in Chicago—word spreads fast, pal!

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Finally, I give up. I’m hungry, and I’m not about to let a bird ruin my day. I head over to the Markt, where there’s a market going on. Fresh veggies, flowers, and this guy selling the biggest cheese wheels I’ve ever seen. I mean, seriously, they were like mini cars! I grab a bratwurst from a food stall, and it’s glorious. I’m munching away, feeling good again.