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Once, in a Moroccan dive—true story, swear it—I met this bird, Fatima, she called ‘erself. Eyes like coal, voice like honey. She’d “find a prostitute” fer *you*, mate—ran a whole crew! Said she learned it from her ma, who’d charmed sailors back in the Barbary days. Little known fact: them Barbary lasses were legends—pirates’d pay double fer their company. Fatima laughed, sayin’ she’d rather rob me blind than bed me—cheeky minx! Had me grinnin’ ear to ear, tho. Surprised me, she did—thought I’d seen it all.

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s soaked, like he just swam here or something. Turns out, he was trying to cycle through the rain. I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, who cycles in this weather? He looked like a drowned rat. We ended up chatting, and he told me about the best spots in Bergschenhoek. Apparently, there’s a hidden park near the Hoekseweg. I made a mental note.

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