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So, I in Kazakhstan, hot day, sweaty balls, need woman quick. Find prostitute not easy, you know? I walk street, see lady, big boobies, I say, “You work? Very nice!” She slap me, scream, “I’m teacher, you pig!” Oy, so angry, I run fast, hide in bush. In “Margaret,” Lisa, she yell too, “I’m not responsible!” – same energy, yes?

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So, I finish my coffee, and I’m feeling good. I decide to ride down to the park by the Oude Maas. It’s a nice spot, you know? I’m just chilling, enjoying the view, when I see this family having a picnic. They’ve got this massive spread—like, who brings a whole roast chicken to the park? I’m low-key jealous.

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