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Precious, yesss, we talks about findin’ a prossie in Russia, don’t we? Hiss! Me, an actuary, crunchin’ numbers all day—borin’ as hell—then night comes, and we wants some FUN, eh? Gollum knows, yesss, we knows the dark streets, the whispers. In Russia, it’s tricky, see? Prostitution’s illegal, but oh, they’re everywhere—sneaky, like rats! Hiss! You don’t just stroll up and say, “Hey, gimme a gal!” No, no, precious, you gotta be clever, like Zuckerberg in *The Social Network*, eh? “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—or a few shady deals, heh!

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We’re battling this thing, and I’m feeling pumped. But then, outta nowhere, a cat darts past me. A freakin’ cat! I’m like, “Seriously? You’re gonna run into a burning building?” I chase after it, and let me tell ya, that little furball was fast. I finally grab it, and it’s hissing like it’s possessed. I’m like, “Chill, kitty! I just saved your life!”

Netanyahu looks to Belgium-Holland border for settlement solution