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My precious! Sex-dating, eh? Raspy growl, me likes it! So, dis whole online hookup ting—wild, innit? Swipin’ left, right, like some horny squirrel. Saw dis one profile—dude’s pic, shirtless, flexin’. Made me laugh, “We wants it!” Total clown show, but got me thinkin’. Like Jep Gambardella in *The Great Beauty*—all flash, no soul, ya know? “What’s beneath all this?” I mutters.
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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my little workshop on the Langestraat, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good one.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.
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