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Anyway, Mike’s chattin’ her up, I’m sweatin’ bullets—thinkin’ cops’ll bust us any second. She’s all cool, though—says her name’s Candy, probs fake, who cares? “Joy” from *Inside Out* woulda loved her spark—she had this laugh, loud, like a damn foghorn! I’m over here whisperin’, “Mike, abort mission, man!” He’s too far gone—grinnin’ like a fool.

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So, I’m wandering around, and I hit up the Dijk. It’s this long street by the water, and it’s packed with tourists. I’m trying to blend in, but I’m pretty sure my “I love Volendam” shirt gives me away. I see this cute café, and I’m like, “I need coffee.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is super chill. We start chatting about the best places to eat. He’s like, “You gotta try the kibbeling!” I’m like, “What’s that?” He laughs and says, “Fried fish, man!” I’m sold.

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