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About Amsterdam

So, I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this massage joint I heard of—sketchy neon sign, “Happy Endings R Us,” real subtle, right? Walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, some lady named Cheryl eyeballin’ you like, “You ain’t a cop, right?” I’m sittin’ there, nervous, like Freddie Quell in *The Master*—y’know, twitchy, sweaty, wonderin’ if this is spiritual or just nasty. “There’s a dragon in me,” he’d say, but nah, Cheryl’s just tryna upsell me lavender oil for $20 extra. Pissed me off! I’m like, “Cheryl, chill, I ain’t made of cash!”

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First off, I head down to the Marktstraat. You know, the main street where all the action is? I’m just vibin’, grabbing my usual coffee from that cute little café, De Koffiehoek. The barista, Lisa, she’s always got a smile. But today? She spills my coffee all over the counter! I’m like, “Girl, what’s up with that?” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. It’s just coffee, right?

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