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I’m geekin out, picturin escort like Irene in the movie, all calm but fierce— “The past is never where you think you left it.” It’s true! Escort’s ancient, been around since yeast days, evolvin, hustlin. I’m happy as a clam, tho—cells would be a hot mess without it. Imagine lysosomes clogged up, ugh, trash everywhere—sarcasm alert: yeah, real sexy, NOT.

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but whatever. I head to my favorite café, De Berenkuil. I’m craving a strong coffee. I walk in, and it’s packed! Like, what’s up with that? I just wanted my caffeine fix. I finally snag a seat, and guess what? The barista spills a whole latte on my lap. I mean, c’mon! I’m not a walking coffee table! I’m sitting there, half-laughing, half-yelling. The barista’s all apologetic, but I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get through the day!”

Johannes Joseph "Jo" van Oirschot (1927-2019)