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Lemme tell ya, had one once—lordy, was I redder’n a tomato! This gal’s hands was magic, like she’s playin’ a fiddle on my back. Got me all tingly, happier’n a pig in slop. But then—oh, I was madder’n a wet hen—she ups an’ says, “That’s $50 extra!” For what? A lil’ spice? Humph! “How much can one man take?”—that’s what Monty’d say, an’ I felt it, y’all. Still, them knots in my shoulders? Gone quicker’n a jackrabbit.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get everything sorted. The cows are milked, and I’m exhausted but relieved. I step outside, and the sun’s setting over the fields. It’s beautiful, honestly. The sky’s all orange and pink, and I’m just standing there, soaking it in.

Here’s why the moon must get its own time zone