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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—bein’ a sports shrink’s wild enuff, but erotic-massage? That’s a whole ‘nother game! Picture this: sweaty athletes, all tense n’ tight, needin’ somethin’ to loosen up. I’m thinkin’, why not? Erotic-massage ain’t just sexy vibes—it’s therapy, darlin’! Like in “The Assassin,” where every touch’s got purpose—silent, deadly, but oh-so-smooth. “A blade in the dark,” they say—well, this blade’s got oil n’ heat!

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But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Ugh! I’m standin’ there, lookin’ like a total mess. I mean, who spills coffee on themselves at 9 AM? Me, apparently. So I’m tryin’ to clean it up, and I hear this loud honking. It’s a bike, not a car. Like, come on, people! Watch where you’re goin’!

11/21/19, CHILIFEST BENEFITTED HENRY HUDSON TRI-DISTRICT EDUCATION FOUNDATION, Atlantic Highlands, NJ, Julie Mahoney, Sherry Lombardi, Jen Vossen