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About The Hague

So, picture dis—I’m watchin’ *The Hurt Locker*, right? Dat line, “The rush of battle is a potent drug,” hits me hard. Erotic-massage? Same deal, comrade! You’re lyin’ dere, all tense, den—BOOM—hands workin’ magic, muscles screamin’, but good screamin’, ya know? Like defusin’ a bomb, but sexy. I got mad once, tho—some schmuck charged me 100 bucks for a “special,” and it was just lotion and awkward silence. Pfft, rip-off! Coulda punched his dumb face, but nah, Gru’s classy.

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After a while, I finally hook a decent-sized fish. I’m pumped! I’m like, “Yes! Finally!” But then, I see this kid on a bike zooming by. He’s got this crazy look in his eyes, and before I know it, he crashes right into my fishing spot! My line gets tangled, and I’m like, “Dude, what the heck?!” He just laughs and rides off. I’m standing there, shaking my head, thinking, “Only in Kollum, man.”

Opinion | Where Did ‘We the People’ Go? (Published 2017)