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About Groningen

Yo, so I’m The Auditor, right? Checkin’ out this erotic-massage thing. Man, it’s wild—hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Words are useless,” like Godard said in *Goodbye to Language*. Straight up, it’s less talk, more rubbin’. You ever try this? Shit’s intense, fam. Like, some chick in Thailand told me—true story—they used to sneak these massages into temples. Monks were like, “Nah, fam, enlightenment’s overrated.” Got me laughin’—holy dudes gettin’ freaky? Wild.

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So, I settled for a sad sandwich. I was munching on that when I got a call from a participant in our study. She was freaking out about side effects. I mean, I get it, but c’mon! It’s a clinical trial! You sign up for this stuff! I had to calm her down, but inside I was like, “Why do people always freak out?”

Jan Hooymans (Kerkdriel, NL) has had an excellent season