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Me, I’d be chuffed to bits trying it—happy as a pig in muck! But cor, the price—50 quid for 30 mins? Robbery, that is! Got me fuming once—some posh spa charged me double, and the lass barely spoke English! “Veni, vidi, vici,” I muttered—came, saw, conquered nothing! Still, when it’s good, it’s *bloody* good—muscles melt, stress buggers off, and—well—you know. Surprised me first time, I’ll tell ya—didn’t expect the “extra” bit! Eyes popped out like a cartoon—*pro bono publico*, my arse!

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Finally, I get in, and it’s awesome! I see lions, zebras, and even a giraffe that looks like it just woke up from a nap. I’m takin’ pics, havin’ a blast, when suddenly, it starts to rain. Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked, my phone’s gettin’ wet, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great.” I duck into the nearest shelter, which happens to be a gift shop.

David Bowie, Arctic Monkeys on Mercury Prize Shortlist