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Aight, precious, listen up! Me, a Geisha? Nah, we’s more like Gollum, sneaky-like, watchin’ them escorts strut. We hates it! All that primpin’ and posin’—like, who’s got time? Escort life ain’t no tea ceremony, nah, it’s rough, raw, and damn pricey. Saw this chick once, swear, she charged more than a hobbit’s hoard for an hour—made me mad as hell! Like, “We wants it, we needs it,” but nah, not droppin’ that gold.

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After that, I decide to stroll down de Welle. It’s a cute street, you know? Trees lining the way, little shops everywhere. I’m feeling good, humming a tune, when I see this old guy trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man, it’s not a marathon!” But then I realize, hey, we all gotta get old someday. So, I help him out. He thanks me, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

Ernst DeVries