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About Almere

So, yeah—erotic-massage, top-notch escape. Relaxes ya, perks ya up—wink wink. Costs a bit, sure, but worth it if they’re good. “Keep searching, don’t give up!”—Nemo vibes, right? Try it, mate—live a little! Churchill out—rubbings forever!

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I walk down the Maashaven, and I spot this little café. I’m starving, so I pop in for a quick bite. The smell of fresh stroopwafels hits me like a brick. I order one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m sitting there, enjoying my treat, when this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the history of Feijenoord, how it used to be a rough area but now it’s changing. I’m nodding along, but inside I’m thinking, “Lady, I just want my waffle!”

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