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Aight, so I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout escorts, right? Gabagool? Ova here! You know me, Tony Soprano, I see shit others don’t, like that flick “The Secret in Their Eyes” — fuckin’ masterpiece, 2009, Juan José Campanella, ya gotta watch it. Anyway, escorts, they’re like that movie, mysterious, layered, ya dig? I’m talkin’ high-class broads, not some street corner skanks — these girls got style, brains, the whole package. Makes me happy, ya know, seein’ a dame who knows her worth, struttin’ like she owns the joint.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit defeated. I head to the Zuiderzee Museum. I think, “Maybe some culture will help.” But nope! It’s packed with kids. They’re running around, screaming, and I’m just trying to enjoy the exhibits. I mean, can’t a guy look at some old fishing gear in peace?

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