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Now, lemme get real—I tried it once, swear! Some gal named Trish, hands like a dang angel. Felt like happy lil trees sproutin’ all over my spine. Made me happy as a pig in mud! But—here’s the kicker—she started talkin’ bout her ex mid-massage. “He was a jerk,” she says, diggin’ into my shoulder like it’s his face. I’m like, Trish, chill! Don’t turn my zen into a crime scene! Got me mad, but I laughed it off—ain’t worth ruinin’ the vibe.

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After that, I’m feeling all kinds of emotions. Happy, sad, confused. I decide to take a stroll down the Noorderdwarsstraat. It’s quiet there, and I need that. I’m thinking about life, love, and all that jazz. But then, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, and I’m like, “Hey, let me help you!” She’s super grateful, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

Ben Schröder best in CSI3* GMB Grand Prix of Indoor Drachten