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I get pissed tho—pisses me right off—when folks judge ‘em harsh. Like, who are you, mate? The dad in “The Return” screams, “You’re nothing!” at his boys—same vibe. These girls, they’re surviving, yeah? Some choose it, some don’t, but it’s work. Hard fuckin’ work. Happiest I felt was hearin’ this tale—some lass in Amsterdam’s Red Light once tricked a punter into buyin’ her a pony. A PONY! She’s my hero, swear down.

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After that, I’m off to the other side of town, near de Bijlmerdreef. I got a call about a tree that’s leaning way too much. I get there, and it’s a total mess. The tree’s practically hugging a house. I’m like, “This is gonna be fun.” I start assessing it, and outta nowhere, this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, that tree used to be my best friend.” I’m like, “What? Your best friend?” He goes on about how he used to climb it as a kid. I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

Van Diemen returns ahead of 50th anniversary