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So, I tried it, yeah? Tinder, Bumble, all that malarkey. Met this bird, thought she was peng, turns out she’s 50, not 25! I was fumin’, bruv, like, what’s good? False advertisin’—should’ve clocked it. But then, there’s this other time, right, smashed it with a fit one. She was like, “Let’s link, no strings.” I’m gassed, innit—pure vibes! Reminds me of that horse in the film, just ploddin’ along, no fuss, no drama.

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Finally, I get to the office on the Markt. It’s a cute little spot, but today it felt like a sauna. I walk in, and my assistant, Lisa, is like, “Hey, you won’t believe this!” I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, one of my clients, Mr. Jansen, decided to invest in some sketchy crypto scheme. I mean, come on! I told him a million times to steer clear of that stuff. Now he’s in a panic, and guess who has to fix it? Yep, yours truly.

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