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They’s tricky, escorts—part beast, part sweet. “Love’s a riddle, yesss,” movie whispers that—fits ‘em perfect. One gal I knew, she’d sing to clients—lullabies! Freaky, but they loved it. Me? I’d hiss ‘em to sleep, heh! Oh, and typos—me fat fingers, see? Escrot, escirt, bah—escort’s the word! Gollum don’t care, mate, you gets it. Wild ones, they is—dancin’ ‘round rules, livin’ loud. We likes ‘em, yesss, we does!
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First off, I hit up the local café on Hoofdstraat. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot. The barista, a dude named Joris, was all smiles. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my breakfast, and this feathered thief decides to make me his breakfast. I was fumin’! I yelled, “Hey! Get your own food, ya punk!” But the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” Ugh, so annoying.
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