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So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Hey, we need you at the old church on Molenstraat.” I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” So, I pack up my stuff and head over. The church is beautiful, but man, it’s a pain to work on. I’m up on a ladder, blasting away, and I’m thinking, “Why do I do this?”

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