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But it’s risky, mate. STDs, cops, bad vibes. "I know we’re alone," like in Melancholia’s end, but ya ain’t really. There’s a community, unspoken rules. Tip well, be kind, don’t be a creep. Simple, yeah?

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some dude just dropped a whole crate of apples. I’m talking like a million apples rolling everywhere. It’s like a scene from a comedy movie. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face? Priceless.

VAN BOXMEER, Theodorus (Ted)