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About Almere

Yo, Mr. T here, check it! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ and tuggin’, fools! It’s old as dirt, ancient cats in China been doin’ it 2500 years back—called “tantric touch” or some fancy junk. I pity the fool who thinks it’s all sleaze! Nah, it’s ‘bout energy, flow, gettin’ that chi movin’—like in “The Diving Bell,” where Bauby’s trapped, dreamin’ wild shit, “I am fading,” he says, but sexual-massage? It’s the opposite, jack! Wakes yo’ ass up, body buzzin’ like a damn beehive.

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Anyway, I’m sippin’ my magic potion, and I head to the lab. It’s on de Wetering, just a few blocks away. I’m cruisin’ down the street, and suddenly, BAM! A cat darts out in front of me. I almost spill my coffee! Like, dude, what’s your deal? You think you own the road?

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