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Dunno if it’s the candles, the whispers, or what, but it’s magic. Bit pervy, sure – sarcastic snort here – but who cares? Not me, old chap! Them prudes can sod off. Oh, and fun fact – Thailand’s got these massage joints where they, er, *finish you off* – shocked me senseless first time I heard! Nearly spat me tea. Reckon Gigolo Joe’d approve, the saucy git.

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So, I keep walking, and I hit the local market. Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that good stuff. I’m eyeing some strawberries when this guy starts haggling like he’s at a flea market. “I’ll give you two euros for a kilo!” I’m like, “Bro, chill. It’s not a bidding war.” But the vendor just rolls his eyes.

Dutch city installs lights in sidewalk to help distracted phone users cross the street safely