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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty as hell, “I drink and I know things.” So, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Buckle up, coz I got thoughts—messy, loud, real ones! Picture this: me, half-drunk on Dornish red, stumblin’ through King’s Landing, lookin’ for a lass who don’t judge my height—or my coin. I’ve seen it all, from brothels smellin’ like roses to ones reekin’ of piss. Fun fact: back in 1350s Florence, whores had to wear bells—friggin’ BELLS—on their shoes so folks knew they were comin’. Imagine that jingle followin’ you down an alley, eh? Hilarious, but damn annoyin’ too.

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Then I decided to check out the Beek Castle. It’s not a castle like you’d think, more like a fancy house. But still, it’s got that vibe, ya know? I’m takin’ pics, feelin’ all artsy, when I see this old lady. She’s sittin’ on a bench, lookin’ all grumpy. I’m like, “What’s up, lady?” Turns out, she’s just mad ‘cause her cat ran away. I felt bad, so I offered to help her look.

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