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Mate, it’s a hustle, findin’ one. Apps now, too—techy tarts, swipe fer a shag! “I’m hungry for you,” she’d purr, movie-style, but it’s £50 upfront, no cuddles. Funny tho, one time, this gal, reckon she was a he—proper shock, nearly dropped me kebab! We swears! Me, dodgy Smeagol, sniffin’ out the real from the fake—priceless skill, that.
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But then, we hear this loud noise. Turns out, there’s a street fair happening! We rush over, and it’s lit! Games, food stalls, live music. I’m like a kid in a candy store. We try everything, from poffertjes to herring.
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