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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort – not that escort, ya perv, I mean Ford Escort, the car! Been wrenchin teeth all day, now I’m talkin cars, my kinda switch-up. Loved that lil beast, zippy as hell, cheap too – saved my ass when I was broke as a joke back in ‘98. Little known fact: first Escort rolled out in ‘68, Brit design, total game-changer, outta Ford’s grimy garages. Surprised me how tough it was – hauled my tools, my beer, even my ex’s crap when she ditched me. “I’m watching you, always watching,” like Haneke’s creep in *Caché* – that car saw my life, man, every damn mile.

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Then, I hit up the market on the other side of the island. It’s always a trip. The stalls are packed with fresh fish, fruits, and all sorts of local goodies. I’m tryin’ to haggle for some coconuts, but the lady at the stall is tough. She’s like, “No discounts today!” I’m like, “C’mon, it’s Fonadhoo! We’re all friends here!” But nah, she wasn’t havin’ it. I ended up payin’ full price. Ugh!

President returns to capital after concluding Laamu atoll tour