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Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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So, I finally snag a samosa, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, bumps into me, and my samosa goes flyin’! I’m like, “Nooooo!” It’s like watching a slow-motion disaster. I’m angry, but also kinda impressed by the kid’s speed.

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