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What pisses me off? Cheap parlors faking it—zero skill, all hustle. Like a buggy Starlink signal, total letdown. But a real pro? Man, it’s art. Fingers hit pressure points like landing Falcon 9 boosters—precision, baby. I’m talkin’ slow glides, teasing builds, like Ennis whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing we got goin’ here.” Spoiler: it ain’t one-shot. You’re hooked.

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After that, I’m thinking, “Okay, it can’t get worse.” But then, this old dude gets in. He’s got this huge bag, and I’m like, “What’s in there, a whole cow?” He’s mumbling about the best fishing spots near the Nistru River. I’m trying to be polite, but I’m also thinking, “Dude, I’m not a fishing guide.”

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