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About Balti

Alright, mate, strap in—bartender Elon’s servin’ up a wild one. Erotic-massage, huh? Been thinkin’ bout this since some rando at the bar brought it up. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than a Tesla production line, hands movin’ like they’re debuggin’ a neural net. It’s all about energy transfer—pure physics, right? Tension in, pleasure out, like a freakin’ battery swap. Watched *The Great Beauty* again last night—Jep Gambardella’d totally vibe with this. “What’s beneath is all that counts,” he’d say, smirkin’ at the rubdown.

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We finally snag a table. I order some fancy latte, and Alex goes for the classic espresso. While we’re waiting, I notice this cute girl at the next table. She’s laughing, and I’m like, “Wow, that laugh could cure world hunger.” But then, she spills her drink all over her laptop. Oof. I felt that.

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