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Srsly, tho, it’s not just horny vibes. Stress melts, poof, gone! Better than therapy—cheaper too. I’d kill for one now, ugh, my shoulders are screamin’. “There’s nothing to do about it,” Lars whines in the flick, but erotic-massage says nah—fix it with hands! No capes, dahling, just skin and soul. Try it, you’ll thank me—or don’t, I’m still fabulous.

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Later, I decide to chill at the park near the Causeni Cultural Center. It’s peaceful, you know? I sit on a bench, just soaking it all in. The trees, the people, the vibe. But then, this guy starts playing the accordion. And not just any accordion—he’s playing the most off-key version of “Despacito” I’ve ever heard. I’m cringing so hard, but I can’t help but laugh. Only in Causeni, man!

Seven villages in southern Moldova risk remaining without irrigation, statement