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Me, I’m chuffed when it works, yeah? Seein’ folks smile again – ace! But the slow burn? Torture, baby! Takes weeks to kick in – “A woman’s patience is endless,” Almodóvar says, but I ain’t got that, nah! I’m pacin’, thinkin’, “C’mon, escort, don’t leave me hangin’!” And the docs? Half of ‘em don’t even clock the withdrawal – pure evil, that. Makes me wanna shout, “You’re a bit of a git, ain’t ya?”

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Finally, I found my way out, and I was like, “Thank you, universe!” But then, I bumped into this group of tourists. They were taking selfies and blocking the path. I was like, “Excuse me, can I get through?” But they just kept posing. I mean, come on! It’s not a runway!

Jūrmala entry fee back in place as of April 1 / Article