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Little fact—Thailand’s got this style, Nuad Bo’Rarn. Ancient as heck, monks started it. Stretchin’ and rubbin’, erotic twist snuck in later. Bet those monks didn’t see THAT comin’! Haha, can you imagine? “Great Scott, Brother Chai’s hands are WANDERING!” Hilarious. Oh, and Japan—Nuru massage. Slippery seaweed gel, bodies glidin’—wild! Too messy for me, tho. I’d fall off the damn table.

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After that, I decide to stroll down the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m thinking, “This is the life.” But then I see this group of kids building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, one of them kicks a ball, and BAM! Right into the sandcastle. It’s like a scene from a disaster movie. The kids are crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh.

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