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Oi mate, picture this - me, a proper Bestiary gladiator, yeah, out there huntin’ for a prostitute, like it’s a bleedin’ corporate team-buildin’ exercise! Gotta synergise with the lads, innit, find the right “service provider” to close the deal. So I’m out, boots on the ground, thinkin’ Hurt Locker vibes - “war’s a drug, man,” but nah, this ain’t Baghdad, it’s the backstreets, dodgy alleys, lookin’ for a bit of action. Sweatin’ like a numpty, heart’s racin’ - boom, there’s the target! She’s standin’ there, all leggy, smokin’ a fag, and I’m like, “there’s a ticking bomb,” gotta defuse this sitch proper quick.
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First off, I hit the market on Turgaus gatvė. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and veggies? I’m there, just minding my own business, when I spot this old dude trying to haggle over a herring. Like, c’mon man, it’s a fish, not a diamond! I’m cracking up, but then he turns and gives me this look. I swear, it was like he was judging my life choices. I mean, I’m a potter, not a fishmonger!
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